Don’t read this page.
It’s a list of things I’ll always regret doing (despite repeating most of them several times), and reading it might give you the silly idea to try it for yourself. Anyway, if you ask me, you should never:
- Eat uni (sea urchin). It tastes like you just swallowed a piece of very colorful tasting dirt. If you really wanted to do that, you could have just taken a wad of muddy sand, sprinkled some salt on it, and chewed. Same taste. Except worse.
- Drink Arizona ice tea. Whereas I kinda do like Hot Pockets even though they’re terrible for you, I’ve never drank Arizona ice tea and felt like saying, “Boy, I’m glad I drank that.” *Singsong voice.* Arizona ice tea~.
- Think you’re too smart to do x, where x is something retarded.
- Buy a non-flash mp3 player. Portable hard drives are so cheap nowadays, and why the hell would anyone want to carry 60 gigs of music with them is beyond me. Plus they drain battery faster.
- Go around street corners at 35 miles per hour. Because like a patch of gravel is going to magically appear and fuck you up.
- Try long distance relationships. ‘Nuff said.
- Carry things on your arms while you’re riding a motorcycle. Seriously, distracting as hell, which means you do wheelies by accident. Not that I would know.
- Convince yourself you don’t like someone. Like that’s gonna happen, seriously?
- Call someone without planning what to say. You (or at least, I) sound like an idiot.
- Not think about where the cue ball is gonna go after you shoot. Chances are when you don’t, you safety yourself or scratch.
- Write Japanese/Chinese in WordPress post titles. It gets screwed up with that Facebook plugin and then people think you really do come from the moon.
- Eat long pasta while wearing expensive clothes. I dunno about you, but I always manage to get a little bit of sauce on myself no matter how careful I am. Then I get pissed and start punching people in the face.
- Eat really spicy food on a date. Not that I’ve done this, lawls!, but at least my nose tends to run (because I have terrible sinuses and spicy food clears them up - one of the reasons) which makes for awkwardness. I’m sure it happens to other people. Probably.
- Get a non-technical degree. Or at least get one without getting a technical degree as well. It doesn’t matter if you’re going into law, medicine, business, or the Ort Cloud. If it’s not technical, it’ll be useless.
- Start a blog and then think people are going to read it. Prepare for disappointment!
